Cable News Rivals Compete to Kill-Off Ill Congressman

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Eighty-two-year-old Rep. C.W. Bill Young (R-Fla.), whose 43 years in the House makes him Florida's longest-serving Congressman, is gravely ill at the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, according to an Associated Press report today.

A sad turn of events for Young, who just last week announced his intent to retire from Congress, but not as sad as the fate bestowed on him yesterday, initially by Fox News' Gretchen Carlson on-air, and then via Twitter separately by MSNBC's Frank Thorp and Luke Russert, according to the Politico Web site.

During her afternoon gabfest, Carlson reported a Fox News Alert that Young had died, only to apologize and issue a correction later in the broadcast. Meanwhile, Russert and Thorp each tweeted that Young wouldn't get any older, only to tweet again that their reports of his death, like Mark Twain once said, were greatly exaggerated.

As a long-time member of the House Appropriations Committee, Young oversaw military appropriations. Unfortunately, for him and his loved ones, there is no defense to sloppy journalism. "Get it first, get it fast, and (maybe) get it right," just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Hasselbeck New 'Friend' on Fox & Friends; Carlson Goes Solo on Fox

Elizabeth Hasselbeck presumably will draw on the self-preservation skills that led her to a fourth-place finish on Survivor: The Australian Outback (2001) when she shares the curved couch with co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on the top-rated gabfest Fox & Friends this September.

Mediabistro.com's TV Newser blog reports today that the 36-year-old Cranston, R.I., native will join Fair & Balanced Fox News after a 10-year stint as a co-host of ABC's Emmy-winning The View where she often triggered controversy in her role as the blonde Conservative panelist.

"Elizabeth's warm and engaging personality made her a star on The View," said Fox News Chair & CEO Roger Ailes--an expert in warm & fuzzy--in a statement released by Fox. "She has proven to be an excellent conversationalist and I am certain she will make a great addition to our already successful morning franchise," Ailes added.                                                                                          

Hasselbeck, who is married to her Boston College college boyfriend, NFL quarterback Tim Hasselbeck, and is the author of two best-selling celiac diet books, was a keynote speaker at the GOP Conventions in 2004 and 2008 and in October 2008, introduced then-vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin at GOP rallies and Mensa meetings (we may have made that part up).

Hasselbeck supplants Gretchen Carlson on the Fox & Friends couch. Carlson, according to Fox, will host her own one-hour show on Fox at a yet-to-be determined time, after a seven-year stint on Fox & Friends. The show, which has been the top-rated morning cable news program since 2001, is a frequent satiric target of SNL and The Daily Show.

"TUOL" is eager to see how Hasselback adapts to her new co-panelists on Fox & Friends where she, no doubt, like Kate Jackson on the original Charlie's Angels, will come to be known as "the smart one."